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I dont judge people but I do observe. A quiet gurl but not my brain. Single yet i eat double. Praise me then u are my enemy, honesty is what i call friend. I dont hold back when i talk, soo.. dont get offended by that k.

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Friday, December 22, 2017

Just wow 😭



Wow. Terkejut sangat. Tapi kalau ikutkan tak perlu terkejut pon sebab memang sejak dapat berita tu almost every night akan terfikir dan menangis.

This is not a definite diagnosis. Just a simple screening test. I dont think i fulfilled the DSMV criteria for depression yet.

But nevertheless berita haritu affected me so much that i dont think i should beria-ria study coz tak nampak pengakhiran isu ni macam mana.

Palpitation, chest pain lepas tengok result ni 😰😭

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Penat

Penatnya hidup. Dari awal med school sampai sekarang, final year dah pon masih tak habis lagi dugaan. Penat dah bersabar dan try hard to survive.

Rasa dah tak mampu.

Rasa macam tak larat hidup di dunia ni.
Tapi takut untuk suicide. Coz i know suicide is wrong. But mentally im too tired.

Tak tahu nak luah kepada siapa.
Nak seek help but im afraid people see me as cari perhatian but nothing big pon.

Penatnya. Dari dulu try lalu semua obstacle. Berjaya.
Tapi kali ni? Tak mampu dah.

Rasa macam anak paling menyusahkan family sampai dah tak mampu minta tolong dari family.

Hari² superficially luah di twitter crying for help. But.

Too tired of living. Selalu berharap mati dan ada happy ending. Tapi..

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

To survive or not to survive.






With the current obstacles to finish my med school, I have to admit that sometime I feel like giving up on my studies. 

Studying and surviving alone is so depressing. I did not have a shoulder to cry and always pretending like I am okay but the fact is, I’m not. 

The pressure. L

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Persoalan.

Kenapa saya masih 'gagah' bertarung dalam bidang perubatan?

Kenapa saya tidak mampu berputus asa dengan bidang ini?

Adakah perjalanan ini akan berakhir dengan baik atau sebaliknya?

Beribu persoalan. Tidak berani memberi jawapan.


- sebelum menutup mata. 0350hr.

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